In today’s brunch, we work on manifesting our week. How do we do this? First, think about the week like it has already happened, next think about what you have achieved in this future week by asking yourself this question….
When you look back on this coming week, what is the one thing you want to say you accomplished?
Whatever that thing is, becomes what you need to work on making it real so that next week the statement is your reality.
Let us know what you answer is on our Facebook page!
Last year, we posted 10 life lessons; we got so many emails requesting a repost that we decided we would post 10 new ones in addition to the first life lessons. Hope you enjoy these, and feel free to tweet any of them.
From our January 10, 2015 post
10 Life Lessons
How do you feel about money?
As you reflect on this question start to think about what you were taught about money?
As you do your Monday reflection about money you will find a great video by Brendon Burchard above. “Brendon Burchard is one of the most followed personal development trainers of our time, and he is in the Top 100 Most Followed Public Figures on Facebook. A #1 New York Times bestselling author, his books include The Motivation Manifesto, The Charge, The Millionaire Messenger, and Life’s Golden Ticket.” The video is a great first step to get you thinking about how you see money.
After you check his video, check out some of these great books on money and finance:
Money: A Love Story, Untangle Your Financial Woes and Create the Life You Really Want By Kate Northrup
“Kate Northrup is a professional freedom seeker and creative entrepreneur. She created financial freedom for herself at the age of 28 through building a team of more than 3,000 wellness entrepreneurs in the network marketing industry. Kate is the best-selling author.”
Check out her website and take your money quiz!
Creating a World without Poverty: Social business and the future of Capitalism by Muhmmad Yunus
Muhammad Yunus is the author of Banker to the poor and a Nobel Peace Prize Winner.
Last but not least, Finance for Non financial Managers, Second Edition (Briefcase Books Series) 2nd Edition by Gene Siciliano
How you feel about money says a lot about you, so try to get clear on your view of money.
Want to share your thoughts about Money? Tweet us at @planning101com
Just give them the information or education- 1 out of 5 will change
What do you really need to do.
How you present information matters so make it:
Frame the lost not the gain.
We are risk advisory by nature, 2 out of 3 people will be fearful of losing
Create unique message for each audience
Change people attitude; will change their behavior- Based on Attitudes – 1 out of 7 people will change
What you really need to do .
Set expectations
People need to feel accountable to someone or something
Connect values to the message- Understand peoples values
If you speak to people’s values, they can understand the need to change.
People know how to motivate themselves to change. Most people don’t know what motivates them; if they did, change would happen naturally
What you really need to do.
Create Social Norms-Behavior
Seeing others do it makes you want to do it- 70% of people will change their behavior
Modeling- when people can see the behavior and see the positive reinforcement of it, they will begin to change.
I am a motherless daughter. Just the statement is hard to write. The bond between my mother and I is unbreakable, death didn’t take that away for us. I want to remember my mother; I want to think about her or even talk about her. So it hurts when people deny she existed or deny my loss.
Let me clear up a few things.
1. No two people grieve or cope the same way. ( even if they lose the same person)
2. Time does not heal all wounds. I have moments of deep sadness and pain “after all these years” she was my mother and it is okay for me to miss her or to cry for her even after 15 years. Plus I would like to find the person that coined “time heals all wounds” and send them to the seventh level of hell!!!
3. It is hard work to be okay for other people all the time, just to make them comfortable.
This doesn’t mean I am bitter or angry ( okay I admit #2 is a little bit of an angry statement). No, the opposite is true. I am honored to have had such a wonderful mother. My mother is the most brilliant person I know. She is not physically here but she lives in my heart, in my siblings’ eyes and most importantly in her granddaughter’s smile. I have learned some amazing lesson from my mother. Here are some things I would like to share.
No moment with other people should be taken for granted.
Grieve brings some people closer to you and moves others away from you.
The present is the most important moment in time.
People will surprise you if you let them; look for the good in them.
I don’t have time to fight about the small stuff; life is too short. ( No joke.)
I am strong and resilient. (I didn’t believe her when she told me I was, but she was right.)
As you get older you learn that mum really is right about 90% of the time.
It is okay to cry, laugh, and have silly thoughts all in the same moment.
It is okay to want your mommy when you are sad, happy or mad. No matter how old you are.
The last and most important thing I have learned is when people fail you, remember they are human, forgive.
There wasn’t a day that went by that we didn’t feel or know how much she loved us. When we did something wrong she would say,”I don’t like what you did, but I still love who you are.” She could always separate the act from the core of a person.
This Mother’s Day buy your mother some flowers, whether she is here with you in person or in spirit. Remember that a mother’s love is the unbreakable bond, so let those of us that do not have our mothers on this earth celebrate her this Mother Day too. 
Make peace with your past so it won’t mess up your present.
What others think of you is none of your business; don’t let people who don’t value you “rent space ” in your head.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just brings distance.
Own your life; don’t blame others for your choices.
Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what they have been through.
Don’t judge others; you don’t have the right.
You don’t need to know all the answers. You need to know the right questions.
Trust yourself if you want others to trust you.
Change is part of life; hit acceptance.
Finally, to paraphrase Mark Twain… Don’t expect anything from life; it owes you nothing…it was here first.
Safe and effective Feedback Model
The six words that generate fear and anxiety, “Can I give you some feedback?”, in 85% of human beings. The words go through a translator in our brain and come out as, “Can I completely tear you down?”, “Can I tell you what you are doing wrong?” or “Can I tell you why you are a bad person.?” It can be perceived that the person giving the feedback is somehow superior to the person receiving it, putting the receiver on the defense. The point here is not, don’t use those six words, it is understanding what the cause and effect are when you start with those words. Until your team gets used to hearing those words positively try some of my examples below.
For example:
The Simple Feedback Model. ( Not my model I can’t remember where I read about it so I can’t give the proper credit for it. if you know please comment.)
Creating the feedback is pretty easy
“When you do that behavior, this impact happens.” Positive or negative
Here are some examples:
When you do such a detailed analysis on the rejected parts we had, it really helps us figure out how we can improve the process for the next time we create this product.
When you come late to meetings, it throws things off and we get behind.
Feedback is not judgment, it is only insight. Feedback is not about punishment.
Punishment is ineffective; it does not change the behavior, it causes future avoidance of punishment. It is about covering up mistakes. Praise is not effective as well. ( Yes, I said it!) Praise is designed to make people feel good; it is about generic things and not specific.
Example of Praise:
You ask an associate/employee (Carol) to run a budget meeting for your team. She starts the meeting on time and finishes it on time with little to no divergence from the topic by the team. She lead the meeting very effectively and you can’t believe how much got accomplished.
At the end of the meeting you say, “Great meeting everyone, well done Carol!”
That’s praise and everyone feels great, but did you tell them why it was a great meeting? Did you express they did well on something that is repeatable?
Now your team walks out thinking, “ S/He really like the colorful PowerPoint or we got a lot done.” The truth, maybe you hated the PowerPoint and now you get to see that bright yellow PowerPoint every meeting. Maybe, you love the fact they didn’t divert from topic and got done on time? They really don’t know why they are getting the praise; they just know if felt great.
To avoid general praise, you need to ask yourself the following:
Is my statement about praising to have people feel good or is it something positive they can repeat. There is no right or wrong answer here, this just about intention.
One more key point about feedback: If you take a casual tone, your feedback will be just a piece of input you are giving another person. Relax; give it as a friend and it will be received as such.
While giving and receiving feedback can be a delicate process, there is no doubting its value in helping to identify issues and solve them. It is also about making improvement to behavior.
Here are some tips that can get you on track to giving productive feedback:
Create safety. Believe it or not, people who receive feedback apply it only about 30% of the time, according to Columbia University neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner. If the person receiving the feedback doesn’t feel comfortable, this can cause the feedback to ultimately be unproductive.
Be positive. Give at least as much positive feedback as you do negative. Positive feedback stimulates the reward centers in the brain, leaving the recipient open to taking new direction. Meanwhile, negative feedback indicates that an adjustment needs to be made and the threat response turns on and defensiveness sets in. You don’t need to avoid negative, or corrective, feedback altogether. Just make sure you follow it up with a suggested solution or outcome.
Be specific. People generally respond better to specific, positive direction. Avoid saying things like, “You need to be more talkative in meetings.” It’s too ambiguous and can be interpreted in a lot of personal ways. Say something specific and positive pointed at the task you want accomplished, such as, “You’re smart. I want to hear at least one opinion from you in every meeting we’re in together going forward.”
Be immediate. The adult brain learns best by being caught in action. If you wait three months to tell someone that his or her performance is average, he or she usually can’t grasp the changes needed in order to change direction. It’s far too ambiguous and relies on memory, which can be faulty. Productive feedback requires giving it frequently. That way, performance reviews are just another wasted discussion.
Be tough, not mean. When someone drops the ball at work and you have to give him or her feedback, start by asking his or her perspective on the situation. Resist saying how stupid his or her actions were, even if they were.
Give the other person an opportunity to respond. Remain silent and meet the other person’s eye, indicating you are waiting for answers. If they hesitate to respond, ask open ended questions.
Offer specific suggestions. Offering suggestions shows that you have thought past your evaluations and moved into how to improve the situation.
For example:
“Tim, I sometimes write myself notes in my little portable notebook to remind myself to do something.” “That might be something to help you remember the days work list.”
“Cheryl, instead of telling Greg that you’re not interested in all the details, you might try asking him specific questions about the information you are most interested in.”
One thought that has helped me over the years with feedback, was something my mum did. My mother would always say to us growing up, “I don’t dislike you; I dislike what you have done.” or (my personal favorite), I still love but I don’t love your behavior.” It was never about us personally it was always about the action ( behavior). We never felt she didn’t love or like us. That way of thinking has helped me provide feedback, that respects and honors the recipient. It helps people see the feedback is not personal; it is about an action and you can fix an action. Oh, and one last thing. Practice giving positive feedback every day and you will be amazed how the view of feedback will change in your organization.
Great Advice from Jo-Na Williams and Marie Forleo!
Don’t short change yourself get this information upfront!
The best way to predict the future is to create it.” ~Abraham Lincoln
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